awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This girl is more easily done than said...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
