Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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