and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
