i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
