I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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