I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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