Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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