I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
