Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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