I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
