final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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