Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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