Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
