Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
