The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
