I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
