I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
