No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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