bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
