i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
