told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My bed smells like the plague
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
