do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
