Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
