i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
