Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
