OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
