I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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