wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My penis needs a shock collar
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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