That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
