Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
