i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
