the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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