omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
