By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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