We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
