Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When are your genitals available?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
