before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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