Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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