I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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