who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
