I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
