I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
vagina is talking i cant
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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