Are we in a gay sports bar?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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