It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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