from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
