do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
