I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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