You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nicole vs. Life
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize