your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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