no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
